Something for the Weekend 3

Catherine Schell as Clementine Taplin in Moon Zero Two 1969

Spaceways (1953)

Spaceways was made in 1953 by Hammer Film Productions Ltd as a British/American co-production.  It was based on a radio play by Charles Eric Maine and directed by the prolific Terence Fisher.

It looks a lot like sci-fi but it is as much a tale of infidelity and murder as rocketships going into space.  I’ve read some reviews for this film which seem to criticise it for not being sci-fi to its very core but if you’ve read any of Charles Eric Mains novels you’ll know that he tends to use a sci-fi premise to spin a good thriller.  Consequently, as a fan of the Maine man, I’m looking forward to tracking this down and giving it a butchers – as we say round our way.

And I like the space suits because they don’t look like everything else around at the time.

And I like the film posters too.

Steve

Saturn 3 (1980)

There’s little love out there for Saturn 3.  In fact the whole thing is one big lacklustre misfire after another.

With a script by Martin Amis, a seasoned director in the shape of Stanley Donan and a strong cast of talent in Kirk Douglas, Harvey Keital and Farrah Fawcett it really should have been a lot better than it was.  The trouble is that not one of those names seems appropriately placed in connection with this sci-fi mish-mash of Frankenstein meets Beauty and the Beast on the moon of Titan. And then every production decision made thereafter seems to have been head-shakingly bad.

The space suits are equally curious affairs too.  While the suits seem to be standard and obvious run-ups by a perfectly proficient but unimaginative costume department, the helmets are almost Heavy Metal inspired creations.  But while you have to acknowledge the fact that they have a look all of their own they seem fantastically inappropriate and impractical both in the context of the story and for the actor to perform in.

So there you go, that’s Saturn 3; a B-Movie with pretensions to something greater but not even managing to be half the sum of its parts.  It’s a bit sad really but the saddest tale of all is that Hector the mad killer robot and quite possible best thing in the film spent his retirement stuck at the end of a roller coaster ride on a seaside pleasure beach.  From Titan all the way down to Blackpool; Now that is a long way to fall.

Steve

Late for Lift-off

This is the Windak high altitude pressure suit being put through its paces.  The issue here being that once the suit had been pressurised, movability was compromised somewhat.  So the logic went that if you could still ride a bike then you could probably manage plane controls or a rocket!

They had bikes back then and they had planes too, shame they never managed the final one.

Still, at least they left us this amusing picture if nothing else

Steve

Lestoil ad (1968)

“Women of the future will make the moon a cleaner place to live” says this ad from 1968.

As far as I can make out this stuff goes in with the washing and is good for getting rid of greasy stains.   Not so sure that grease is that big of a problem on the moon but there you go.  It’s probably terribly sexist now as well but, for all its faults, at least they were dreaming of the future.

Steve

Road to the Stars (1958)

Road to the Stars or Doroga K Zvezdam as it was known in its native Russia is a documentary of sorts

It visualises the Soviets exploration of space, projecting forward from existing 1950’s technology to predict first the building of and then everyday life aboard a space station and culminates with a landing on the moon.

It’s propaganda for sure but the effects and model work are an absolute marvel for their time and not bettered by anyone for a good decade after.  It is also most probably one of Kubrick’s visual inspirations for 2001.

Its director was one Pavel Klushantsev who would go on to make the equally stunning Planeta Bur a few years later.  The man had an eye for film design and it’s a real shame he never did more or indeed received the recognition he so richly deserved.

Steve

Inseminoid (1981)

Inseminoid is a terrible film with almost zero production values and lacklustre everything else.  It has no artistic merit and exists entirely to cash in on the popularity of Ridley Scott’s Alien.

However, I read the book first and I loved it.

You see at the age of 12 this was forbidden fruit indeed, full of violence and sex; traditional human-on-human sex and strange crazy alien-on-human sex.  And from that you can probably figure out the plot of the film.

I could be reasonable and say that this budget deficient movie was never going to be as good as the multimillion pound version in my head but it is generally held to be a load of old tosh by just about everyone thats ever seen it.  And for what its worth, I’m probably on my own for liking the paperback tie-in.

The space suits seemed to be cobbled together from safety visors with added lights and vacuum cleaner hose, which would be perfectly acceptable 10 years earlier but looked cheap even in 1981

Is there much more to add?

Judy Geeson is as lovely as ever but that’s probably a given.

Oh yes; if you would like to avoid this film it's worth knowing that in the USA it’s called; Horror Planet, so you should probably give that a miss too.

Steve